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I'm creative, caring and hard working. Looking for long term relationship and marriage. I am looking for an educated, considerate, genuine woman who is Christ minded Fun, Loving, Caring , God fearing and Confident. Caring, kind, honest, quiet, organised and reliable. I'm ready to find my Igbo King! Anthonia, 23 United Kingdom. Ifeanyi, 25 United Kingdom.
Really love what you guys stand for!!! The website looks great, Imela. Nne, 34 United Kingdom.
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Meta Description of igbomate. Meta Tags of igbomate. Social Engagement Facebook Shares: Not Applicable Facebook Comments: Not Applicable Twitter Count Tweets: Not Applicable Delicious Shares: Jamroom Developer - Apicos - apicos. Host IP Address Country ns1. This is how we Igbo men really do feel about the black americas woman. My family disown me if I was marry a black american. No matter her education or cooking. In our culture it is taught to us at very young age to marry within our own tribe. Our family honor the Igbo woman in our culture.
This man not reveal his true self as of yet and may be he just using you, maybe for sex. Right now you no see it, because love is blind. Atleast when he does reveal himself, you can say people here told you before hand in this forum. Hi, I am new to this forum, found this headline by doing a google search. What does being a nurse and being able to cook have anything to do with keeping a Nigerian Igbo man? My first cousin was married 4 years to an Igbo man. I just learned of her split a week ago, after hearing some family members talking about it.
She just moved back in with her parents 4 weeks ago. She is from Texas and husband is Igbo Nigerian man. She is an occupational therapist and her husband a RN. They met in college here, she graduated a year before him. She found out recently he was cheating on her with a woman from his country. A woman that just flew here in the beginning of last year, that is attending the local college here.
MY cousin is a smart, beautiful, intelligent, clean soft spoken woman. A christian young lady who comes from a church going family. She can cook her butt off too…. I was shocked to learn of her divorce because she seemed so happy and so did he! You never know what goes on behind closed doors. It shocked our family.
I feel sorry for her because she is quiet and never bother anybody, have no kids and is approaching She is not even quite out of her twenties yet. Now she has to start over, back living home with her mom and dad. The family was crazy about him, he attended church with her also, no signs of any troubles. I hope your man is not that way, but from doing a research on their culture, i learned online and from word of mouth this is not as shocking as I thought.
This seems to be very common. I know my relative can make it on her own, what I meant by feeling sorry for her, I mean I feel sorry for what she is going through. I should have rephrased that. She makes a lot of money, but from what I know she left her job to move an hour away back in with her parents. I believe going through things like that can take a toll on a person physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As of yet from what I know she is currently just at home, in the house not going anywhere after this recent split. I would advise Neesha to really pray about your situation before even considering marriage. I know our African American men can be bad too, but i never see them stoop that low by using American women marrying them and inviting them into their family, flying them cross country to meet family then dropping them like hot cakes.
What places have you looked? Seems you are just not valued enough. No two persons are the same irrespective of their tribe race or background. I am an Igbo man in Nigeria. I have been married for nearly thirty years to an Igbo woman like me. But she is so domineering, minds her self and her family before marriage, and has negative influence on our three children.
This is one of her many disagreeable ways which she craftily covered from me and opened them gradually over the time. I have only a married sister, so no extended family attachment. When I think back now, I only see deceits and lies. I will have to quite the marriage to be able to continue with life or die before my time. I may only marry again if I can regain confidence in women, though not from Igbo or Nigeria.
You see, Who the cap fits, let them wear it. Situations and conscientious considerations are just the solution to life. I am happy for your future happiness God willing. Thank you for sharing. I have always said that not all Nigerian men are the same. You have to even break it down to their tribe, where they grew up, here in the states or in Nigeria,How old they are, etc etc…I know a they have bad name because of the few deceitful men out there. They have made a bad name for the whole Nigerian country of men. I am sorry for what happened to your family Lamonica.
You only read the response. You mentioned what difference does it make that I am a nurse and that I cook nigerian meals. I was merely painting a picture of who I am. You would have to go back to my original post and not just base your comment off my last post. I am not desperate, I am in shape, fashionable, I look great for my age, I am loving and giving. He shows his love differently. Unless he gets a call from his parents, lol!
He is already a US citizen, he wants to make sure it will last with me. I have a strong american culture of being an independent woman. Fran6D I hope you find relief soon. I have met his parents many times at church, not introduced as girlfriend yet, but they are not stupid, they know something is up. They give me that look…lol to Previous Commenter above me by: I agree with you about mixing with your own kind, but do most Nigerians or African people look at all black americans as enemies? The reason I ask this is because I noticed many Africans, not just Nigerians, but many Africans have a serious dislike for black americans.
I had a discussion about this with coworkers and family. We all came to this conclusion from witnessing the drama working with immigrants on the job and the negative situations some of my family members experienced. At least ten women in my family married African men. Nine of the women ended up divorced after the men became legal, but one couple has been married 27 years. Several men in my family are married to African women and have been 10 years plus going strong.
I notice African women have a serious dislike for women that are not of their race. They even self hate by disliking their own, which is black americans. These men are Registered Nurses and supposedly educated. What are they like or who they are. Please I need info.
Thanks some words of advice from an Igbo man by: It is very difficult if not amost impossible for an Igbo man to marry at age The average minimum age is 30 or If u are independent then change that and begin to depend on him for guidance and decisions or else, he will leave u one day. In Igbo community in Nigeria, before a man breaks up with his wife, he must hav the consent of his parents and siblings, if his parents are no longer there, his uncles etc.
A man cant just leave a marriage, if they refuse and do not support him, he is glued to the woman feelings by: Im a similar situation with the exception that our relationship is very new. It haa only been a few months. Im divorced with two children. I am 34 and he is I tried over and over to cut this off after finding out his age but he continues to pursuit me. I am a black American. I ask alot of questions about his culture. Family is very important to me and i dont want him to be put in a situation were he has to choose. I dont want me in my children to be hurt either.
He nor i have really evolved our family members. He will not take no for a answer but deep in my heart i know this will be a journey. I have all the comments to you both negative and postive and a pray it work out. Should i let it go. I know it will hurt him….? Naija Men and African American Women by: I would not have any other way.
True it has not always been easy, but it is workable. I was a divorcee with one child. I have been to Naijaland and I love the family. I think they feel the same way about me, give or take a few LOL.
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It is always me who reminds my husband to communicate and assist financially those family members who are need only if it is warranted Many Nigerian women do not like American women because of negative social media and lack of opportunity for social interaction. But woman are the same all over the world with the same challenges. Actually, the one thing I appreciate about Naija ladies is their candidness, and practical approach towards life. If you are in a relationship with a Nigerian man, love him, let him take the lead especially publicly,accept and love his family,learn to cook and spoil him a little for a start.
Good luck and God Bless response to Task by: I believe in love and I believe love can be deeper than culture. I love the Igbo man I am seeing and he loves me too! Nobody can convince me otherwise. He has been there many times for me when I needed him. You follow your heart and if your heart is saying you love him and he loves you… then go for it and put percent of your love into him!
I refuse to believe he has used me for sex for almist 4 yrs! You can find that anywhere! And he is very handsome.. Age difference is just a number. If both of you are looking past your age difference then no one else should care either. I wish you well. Always be truthful with him and let him be the boss African American woman, dating Ibo or any African man by: This is not working for the African man at all.
Because of the children,they consider a free zone girl. My Dear Sister i was in a very similar situation , the only difference is i meet his family and helped them so much that i lost myself one faithful day after so many trips and so much hard work he beat me to a pulp after i traveled to see him after I had a minor heart surgery , he never stop cheating i ignored it but when he beat me it was the last time he saw me and that was the last time i helped him and his family.
He was in my life for 3years i did so much thinking he will one day join me but he never wanted that he was just using me.
Think my Sister if its 2years and you did not meet his family you just think. All the best Noe I agree by: I agree with Noe. Sooner or later he will eventually leave you…. Sorry but eventually it will come time when your eyes are opened. My sister, its true that we nigerians dont like marrying a woman with kids, some may wants to, some may wants to use you, but some may pull out because of family pressures as mentioned above,. Dont mind what anybody says because our fates are different, and i want you to know that no spell caster can count little handful of sand in your palm.
So pay no attention to that because only the Lord God almighty can give you your heart desire. I just wish to be offering you sincere advices that may make you successful in your quest for a happy home, God bless ] Self Worthy First by: Anonymous I was introduced to a Nigerian man to date a year ago. The signs were there but being the woman I am I played it for what it was worth. Remind you it took over five years for me to give it a try.
We talked for a week before meeting. He cooked me dinner on first date. The following weekend, I spent the night. He tried to go down on me! He thought it was an expectation of American women. Red flag 1… fast forward. I stopped seeing him for months and decided to visit.
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Told me all I wanted to hear, so he thought. Just a relaxing get away. He sold a boat load of lies nd all I can do is loose major respect. They are sneaky, liars and slick. I fell in love with an Igbo man which is not suppose to happen. I know he is younger than me for 8 years gap at first i thought only 5 years , and my marriage is not yet annulled.
But in the end i fell in love. Just today we have a topic about marriage. I was speechless and hurt. He said he will still take of me. If your people tell you that you have to choose your wife, i will let you go. I have never met a man like him. Sometimes i just wish i was born the same year. But i have to be thankful that i have met him. For now he is focusing on his studies, taking up higher education and im focusing on my business.
Know your Value by: A guy should introduce you to his family at least after that long if your are truly of value to him. I had a situation with one of my ex-boyfriends where he would always make excuses about me meeting his parents and introduce me as a lady friend. My family saw the signs and I ignored the red flags. He was really my first boyfriend at He was like my best friend and he would tell me all kinds of stuff. I prayed that God would open my eyes to see. I got a phone call from another women who said he had been with her for four years not even five minutes later from his phone.
This guy and I melt four years ago and established a friendship. I had no clue!! She was calm and I made the choice to move on because I knew I deserved better. You deserve the best no matter what culture. I believe with any culture. Never lay down your values and take pride in yourself.
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Notice the red flags and love yourself enough to know when to walk away. I now have a friend who is Igbo and has been in the U. S since he was 6. But I still ask questions about his values etc. I want to make sure that ours values match. I think long-term not short term. Leave and Live by: He will not marry you! You need to leave him alone and leave your family out of this!
Accept the fun you had and live! Because that will become painful soon! What do I do? How am I gonna even see the response to this post?
I was dating a Nigerian man from 26 December I enjoyed the food and the different things I learned. The man himself was a strange one. Cleaning, washing and intimacy. Anyway, this went on and on. On Fridays, he would pick me up and I would abandon m family for long periods to be with him not worth it… He would most time lock me up in his room and leave me there with only a tv to watch. I was so sad…He was very unstable, to a point where I had to help him pay his rent or he would borrow money all the time from me… He lived in 4 different places during the length of our relationship. She lived a distance from where he lived, so travel was a problem.
I visited him once out of my own, then he started acting strangely. No more calls, nothing and if I would call, he never answered, but that used to happen quite frequently. Then I was suspicious. Upon my arrival at his place, I noticed that his car was not there and I assumed he went out. Someone let me into the yard, coz where he lived was like a compound. Anyway, I went and stood outside his door and I heard activity inside, the tv was on. I knocked and he responded. I knocked three times and he hesitantly open the door and kept me there.
I was baffled as to why he was acting so strangely. I asked him if I was disturbing him and he reluctantly let me in. What met my eyes hurt so much. His room was filled with females clothes, her underwear in his cupboards. Then I knew why my babe was acting strangely after only 2 weeks of NOT seeing him, he went and got another wooman. Simply because I could not pay his rent.
He got her to pay his…. So here is my story. They lie, use and emotionally abuse. No respect for South African woman. I have forgiven him, yes, but will never forget what he done to me;- Sorry to the last poster by: I am really sorry that you had to go through all of that, but I think you should share part of the blame too.
When a Nigerian man expects you to pay his rent, he is using you! Anyways to make this short, I never gave up on him, it was during my lowest times when I needed reassurance and some comfort that he broke up with me over a text message. I just found that he got married a few months after leaving me,to another woman who seemed to be from his country.
There has been apologies, forgiveness and many, many tears and heartache. Thank you for responding, I frlt so bad that it happened to me. Our newspaper are full of the bad things these naiga guys do. I got all the warnings too. My family was upset, my friends sceptical and I faced all of the slander and defended him. I saw all the red flags, but I wanted to be ignorant and I just got what was coming to me: He told me it was because I drove him to it.
He still keeps in touch. Good or Bad new2 by: I am happy you also know your worth and has moved on. I wish my ex could apologize for the way he treated me as yours does but anyways life goes, there are good and bad in this world, we just have to keep praying and be observant in all we do.
I keep thinking about forgiveness. Is it for the weak-coz that I forgave him, does it make me a weak person? When we ask for forgiveness, does He first think about it? I would like that! When Christ was crusified that day. So, that Christ came into this world just to save me and forgive me. Do we keep remembering the pain? Jesus is a healing balm for all who are hurt.
Jesus travelled so far to just forgive us. We should always remember that God will permit some things to happen in our lives,good or bad, coz He knows our imperfections and what we need to learn in order to perfect us to His perfect image. Time is the only healer. Ask God to heal us and help us learn. Forgive him, that one who tore you apart, made you cry. Jesus lost His life for us and yet we mourn over broken relationships…my boyfriend cheated on me,but he screwed himself…LOL over and over and over! My love remains for him. Yes, I agree with you strong lady;- we are blessed and highly favoured through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Too blessed to be stressed. Continue in love and may this bring us yet closer to Jesus. He is the One we waiting for. Comforter and healer of all who are wary and heavy laden. I praise His holy name! Stay strong in Jesus. Most men are that way.
Users, abusers, sex lovers. Women and be that way too. Abusers, users and sex lovers. That equals it out. Was he married before? He is under great socio-cultural challenge to package you and present you to his family for acceptance. This family approval is key to understanding marriage from the Nigerian perspective. Sorry about my blunt language. I speak as a Nigerian man. I am afraid he is not even trying… Truth by: I am afraid he is not even trying… God help me by: I am a filipina married to a nigerian.
We have one son and been married for 5 years. I dont Know nigerian culture before. Until now i read ur comments. Im very confuse now, ge is always cheating and didnt support our family needs. We stayed here in philippines, im the one supporting our family. He doesnt have work here but trying to sell something for a living. He went to nigeria, and one day i discovered that he married to his place to a nigerian also. Im very confuse now. I dont know if i will still wait for hs coming back. I love him so much in a relationship with a nigerian man by: Love is an interesting affair.
It builds up on prospective subjects first slowly and then rapidly. But it can build up more strongly or fades out with realities. The realities in this love affair are 1 The woman is older 2 The woman is wealthier. The potential realities are that 1 The man may not have the right attraction for this woman in a future time.